Acceptance ≠ Agreement

This simple truth seems to go woefully misunderstood, or rather ignored and sparks quite a bit of controversy and hurt. If people would meditate on it for a few minutes and let that truth soak into their grey matter, I think we could avoid quite a many arguments and scars. And this goes wrong in two directions. First people will take a disagreement and “accept” the other side’s view in a relativistic way - I’m okay, you’re okay, it’s no big deal. Well, some things are a big deal, and if you are taking this route it is really a cop-out because you are denying convictions you hold (I guess if you do this they maybe weren’t true convictions to begin with). You are scared to make a stand thinking that if you do you will run the other person off, so you take this sell out approach thinking you are just being a peacemaker when really you are acquiescing to the other side’s view without even knowing it. The second way that people go wrong here is by being harsh and trying to impose their views on someone else. Because they refuse to bend on their convictions (which they shouldn’t in most cases) they feel the only way they can stand firm is to force the other person to agree with them. Herein lies the rub - can people really agree to disagree and remain close? I think it depends on the controversy many times, but more than that and I think fundamentally it depends on whether both people can understand that accepting one anther as they are - warts, differing views and all - does not mean that they have to merge their views and agree on everything. This is hard though, because we are human and we all want to be right and don’t think that more than one person can be right if those views differ. Hmmmm, mull that one over for a bit. I think it can be done, it just requires folks actually being intentional in their relationships, considerate of one another, and willing to endure some tension. The older I get I believe that life is full of struggling to find a comfortable place amid the tension we must live in, in all areas of life. Hard as we try, we will not be able to rid ourselves of most of it, therefore we must find a way to live happily in it, lest we let it swallow us whole.